A man has sparked a heavy debate after revealing that he asked his wife not to go to his son’s wedding.
Posting to the subreddit ‘AITA’ (Am I The A-hole), the man explained that there were three reasons he didn’t want his wife, who is his son’s stepmother, at the wedding.
In his Reddit post, the man wrote that his son had invited him, his wife, and their teenage son to the wedding. He assumed his wife would “politely decline” the invitation, but he was left surprised when she said she was going.
The man said that his wife and his son’s fiancé haven’t always gotten along.
“My reservations boil down to three main things. First of all, my wife and ‘Will’ [his son’s fiancé] hold each other in mutual contempt,” he wrote in his post.
He claimed to not understand why his wife would agree to attend the wedding if she probably won’t have a good time.
“My wife and son get along, but they are not particularly close, so I don’t think supporting him is her main motivation.”
For the second reason, the man wrote that his wife doesn’t like to fly on planes, and instead of boarding a three-hour flight to the destination where the wedding will be, they’d have to drive.
“I love my family, but being stuck in a car for sixteen hours with a moody teenager is my personal hell,” the man admitted.
“Flights are dirt cheap right now, and round trip for me and my son would probably be around $100, whereas the drive would necessitate taking extra days off work (lost income) and spending money on gas and expensive gross interstate food.”
The man confessed that the final reason he doesn’t want his wife at the wedding is that he’ll have a good time if she’s not there.
He acknowledged that if his wife were to attend his son’s wedding, it would be nothing but awkward, and he wouldn’t be able to enjoy himself.
He revealed that it had taken him a “long time” to build a relationship with his son’s fiancé, Will, and he’s worried his wife will make him choose a side if an altercation were to arise.
“I worked hard to build something between us for the sake of my relationship with my son, and I’m worried my wife will say something that will force me to choose between defending her and upsetting Will (and my son) or not defending her and upsetting her.”
When the man told his wife that she “wouldn’t enjoy the wedding” and would probably have a better time staying at home, she became angry.
His wife pointed out that he “used to hate Will” and called him a “hypocrite” for not thinking about her feelings.
Most of the people who commented on the man’s Reddit post were split between whether or not he was in the wrong.
“You need to be straightforward with your wife,” one user wrote.
“You want to fly there, flights are cheap and gas is expensive, you don’t want to take an extra day off work, and you are trying to build a stronger relationship with Will and she doesn’t help in that goal.”
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Another user chimed in, calling out the man’s decision to uninvite his wife. “You’re pretending that you want her to stay home because she won’t enjoy herself, but that’s not your real reason.”
“Your real reason is that her staying home is much more convenient for you & you think you’ll have more fun without her.”
A third user wrote, “It is your son and Will who gets to decide who attends their wedding, not you. If they invited her then she has every right to go.”
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.