Elopement Wedding

Internet Applauds Man For Ruining Brother’s Proposal: ‘He Was Warned’

Online commenters have applauded a man who said in a now-viral post that he recently “ruined” his younger brother’s proposal.

Posting in Reddit’s “Petty Revenge” forum under the username u/Neither-Glove-4355, the man wrote: “Ruin My Wedding To Propose? I’ll Ruin Your Proposal.” The story has amassed over 32,000 upvotes and more than 3,000 comments while shedding light on a common phenomenon—adult sibling rivalries. You can read the full story here.

In his post, the man said his parents have always doted on his younger brother Todd. As a result, Todd has made a habit of making himself the “center of attention.” For example, Todd and his girlfriend Lucy announced their pregnancy at Todd’s sister Abby’s baby shower.

“Because of this, Abby and I have a strained relationship with Todd and our parents,” u/Neither-Glove-435 wrote.

Online commenters have applauded a man who said in a now-viral post that he recently “ruined” his younger brother’s proposal.
fizkes/istock

So when u/Neither-Glove-4355 proposed to his now-wife Michelle, he wanted to elope, but Michelle insisted they have a wedding and invite his family. So, he capitulated. In the weeks leading up to the wedding, however, u/Neither-Glove-4355’s best man Jim found a ring receipt of Todd’s.

“Jim told me everything, and I told Todd that he was no longer going to be a groomsman because I knew he was going to propose at my wedding,” u/Neither-Glove-4355 said. “Todd cried to our parents, which led to a blowout.”

Their parents made Todd agree that he “wouldn’t try anything at the wedding,” but u/Neither-Glove-4355 didn’t trust Todd. So he hired a woman to act as Todd’s “side piece” just in case anything happened. Sure enough, Todd proposed to Lucy during Michelle’s father-daughter dance, so u/Neither-Glove-4355 sent the actress Todd’s way.

Sadly, Lucy believed the woman, and she denied Todd’s proposal. Now, she won’t let Todd see their child.

“Todd is furious and is demanding that I clear his name,” u/Neither-Glove-4355 said.

Sibling Rivalries

Katerina Georgiou, a psychotherapist and author of How to Understand and Deal with Stresstold Newsweek that adult sibling rivalries such as u/Neither-Glove-4355’s and Todd’s are common.

“They usually stem from complex family dynamics spanning back into the earlier years of childhood and can have connections to each child’s relationship to either parent and the way they were parented,” Georgiou said. “These dynamics can continue well into adulthood, even after separation from the family home has occurred.”

To navigate these relationship dynamics, Georgiou recommends therapy. She also encourages siblings to try looking at things from the other’s perspective.

“It’s worth noting that it can also be easy to split siblings into ‘good’ vs. ‘bad’ and take sides, but I’d recommend against this approach as it sets up a binary position in which one can only ever be right and the other only wrong, which puts a barrier on to dialogue and reconciliation,” Georgiou said. “Instead, try to recognize that each sibling has a subjective experience of how their childhood was for them and what needs didn’t get met. This doesn’t mean you have to forgive or forget—it’s simply a starting place to make logical sense of why what’s happening is happening.”

Georgiou also said that some people may need to cut ties with their siblings to “maintain healthy boundaries.” But she never recommends revenge.

“It is just going to feed back into the dynamic that started it all in the first place. That doesn’t mean to say you can’t feel angry, and this is not the same as forgiving the other party. You don’t have to forgive and forget at all, but seek out behaviors that are life support for you, not destructive, even if the short-term feeling of gain is tempting,” she concluded.

Redditors React

Redditors, on the other hand, thought u/Neither-Glove-4355 was justified in his revenge against Todd.

“This wasn’t for one event—it was for a lifetime of events. I think it was justified. He was warned,” u/2catsaretheminimum said.

“This is a level of petty I can truly get behind. I hate when people feel the need to be the center of attention at the expense of others. Good for you. Stop inviting Todd to anything,” u/Un__Real wrote.

“Todd may finally be realizing [that] there are consequences to pissing people off and walking on their big moments. NTA [not the a******],” u/dellaevaine added.

Newsweek has reached out to u/Neither-Glove-4355 for comment. We could not verify the details of this case.

More Viral Posts

A woman went viral last week for sharing that she got “revenge” on her mother-in-law after the matriarch “insulted” her job.

Redditors applauded a woman earlier this month for exacting revenge on a wedding guest who wore white to her best friend’s wedding.

And in July, online commenters congratulated a “shocked” woman who got engaged on her daughter’s wedding day.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.