Vintage Wedding

Friend backs out of annual trip after not being picked as groomsman: ‘It’ll be uncomfortable’

A man is wondering if he should attend an all-groomsmen trip when he isn’t a groomsman.

He asked to weigh in on Reddit’s “Am I the A******? (AITA)” forum. He has been a part of the same friend group of five guys since elementary school. When his friend Brandon was getting married, Brandon asked everyone in the friend group to be a groomsman — except the Reddit poster.

Brandon’s groomsmen also included two friends from college and his two brothers.

“I was upset when I first realized, but I talked to my parents about it and they reminded me its Brandon’s wedding and not a ‘group event’, he can have whoever he likes up there, and just because im not a groomsman doesn’ t mean Brandon’s doesn’t consider me a friend,” he wrote.

He privately got over it and never told anyone in the group about his feelings. But the issue came up again. He and his four friends usually plan an annual destination trip.

This time around, his friends wanted to invite the other four groomsmen on the trip. The Reddit poster felt like the odd man out. He told them to go on the trip without him.

The other guys won’t invite the other groomsmen if it means I won’t come. But its clear they’re also annoyed at them not being able to invite them because of me,” he explained.

Redditors sided with the poster about the issue.

“Brandon created this dynamic, and the guys need to understand why it’ll be uncomfortable for you to participate,” someone wrote.

“If they want the others to come then you have every right to stay home. At that point it’s no longer keeping the tradition but changing it to a wedding event,” another said.

“I would think good friends would understand. The trip became something that’s not about your friend group. It turned into a wedding-trip,” a user replied.

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